Survivor Bro!

I have recently started following a website called Art of Manliness. This is an awesome website dedicated to the lost art of being a man.  It covers everything from outdoors and play, to ethics, family and relationships.   This website holds the opinion (and so do I) that men have been wussified over the last several decades.  There are a few still out there, but what used to be the norm, is now a niche.  That is sad, because of political correctness we have become afraid to say I am a man and proud of it.  So I started thinking that I would start to really teach my son some man things.  The first thing today is making a small game trap.

We didn't want to actually kill anything today so we used a small piece of a tree trunk just so we can see if anything tripped it.  Since James isn't old enough to use a pocket knife, I do most of the work, but I tried to explain what I was doing to him as I went.  I told him that if was responsible enough he would get a pocket knife on his 10th birthday.  
We began scouting the area for limbs that could work.

Once we found it, I started chopping it up, James was taking pictures.  Halfway through he got cold, because it was very windy that day, so we went back to the house and got him some pants, and a jacket.

We put peanut butter on the stick that trips the trap.  These are called deadfall traps, they are the easiest to make, and don't require any cordage.  So we left the trap alone and started off to the next thing. 

After that we went to the house and watched about 10 episodes of Batman the Animated series, we both LOVE that cartoon.
We also went to the Dollar Tree and got some Mike and Ike's, getting a treat from the Dollar Tree seems to be expect by both children now.
One of the things I wanted to do was introduce James to doing manual labor more intentionally, like cutting the grass.  I told him, that while this wasn't ALWAYS the case, but one of the ways men serve their families is cutting the grass.  Like taking out trash, killing bugs and other dirty things, ;-).  We moved into a new house a few weeks ago and the grass was very rough looking, even though it was winter, it needed to be done.  But I had to borrow a lawn mower from a friend, so we went to his house to get it. 

On the way, James found that if you smoosh all the Mike and Ike's together into a ball, it tastes awesome.  Had to get a picture.
Another thing James made me laugh with was that he said, 'ok Dad, from now on, every time we say something, you have to end it with, haHA!'  So we spent the rest of the day end our sentences with that......haHA!

James actually liked cutting the grass, I would get him lined up, and he would push it in a straight line.  After a while though, we realized this WINDY day was the worst time to cut the grass, the wind was blowing it perfectly back in our faces.

Later that night, we made a fire for the family in the fireplace, and started our normal devotional, then movie night.  But before we did that, we went out to the trap to see if anything tripped it.  And something did!  These traps fall on there own sometimes, so the only real evidence we had was that the peanut butter was mostly gone.  Must have scared the crap out of whatever was eating it.

                                                               
                                                                  A Pretty Good Day

Daddy Daughter Dance!

This was also an easy Daddy Date, because I didn't really have to plan anything.  I just had to buy the tickets two weeks in advance. 

This is important for a number of reasons, one is that she LOVES it, that's pretty simple.  The other is that she is going to create expectations of what she looks for in a man, based on her relationship with me.  Statistics (Christian AND Secular) are proving more and more that women who seek out bad relationships with men that are abusive or neglectful, often have a common past with how their father related to them.  The quality of a girl's relationship with her father has a huge impact on the formation of her personality, her level of self-esteem, confidence and happiness, and therefore on the choices she makes in life, not to mention how she will view God.  God has given me a HUGE responsibility with Bella, in that I am her first male relationship.  I am the male relationship that is no doubt going to dictate her relationships in the future.  I have to show her how she should be treated, I have to have her heart, so that she can trust me and her mother to guide her.  If I give her the relationship that God has designed, then her self-esteem will not rest on what other boys think of her, she will have a firm foundation of love and leadership.  So while the concept of taking her out on the date is new to me, it is going to be a regular thing, not just 'days out' but actual dates, where we connect and she trusts me.  I am by no means saying I will be the model dad, I am going to fail, I am going to get it wrong and I am going to stumble.  but my intention is clear in my heart, and I know what God has charged me with, and that is the growth and nurturing of this little lamb of God that some day I am going to have to walk down the aisle and trust the man at the end of the short walk.

  

It was immediately apparent what was going through her brain ALL day Friday.  All she could talk about was 'going on a date with daddy to a dance'.  About every 10 minutes she said 'Daddy, when we wake up tomorrow, we are going on a date, right?'  And I had to explain every time, 'it won't be when we wake up baby, it'll be at night'.  But that went in one ear and out the other.  She was SO excited.  She would talk about what dress she was going to wear, etc.  And of course in the midst of this I realized, I can't find any of my nice clothes, I had to dig for some stuff and still had to buy a tie.  I also shaved and trimmed my beard the night before, needed to look sharp!

Kathryn spent a while with her making her hair pretty and actually putting on makeup.

First thing we did was go to Applebee's.  I had a gift card I won at work, so that was as cheap as it gets.  We got in the door and the waitress ooh'd and ahh'd over Bella, and Bella shouted out for everyone to hear 'Daddy is taking me to a dance class!'.  We sat down and colored together and talked, we only ordered an appetizer because we were in a hurry.

When we go to the Belle house she started giggling, she was so pumped up.  We got to the front table at the door and we Bella got her Corsage, but her wrist was too small, and she didn't like having to wear it so high, so she just held it. We walked in and got our picture taken right away.  There was a professional Photographer there that had a full portrait setup.  Not sure when we will get those pictures but they took our address down, hopefully it will show up soon.  

We had about 30 min to kill after the pictures and the Belle house has a cool pond out back.  Most of the couples haven't arrived yet.  So we walked around, she didn't want to stay still too long.  It was around this time I realized that my phone was about to die, and the last thing I needed was to not be able to take pictures.  So we walked back to the car and plugged it in and let it sit.  I was getting so excited, because the gravity of the moment was hitting me, I was taking my daughter out on her first date.  

Once the doors opened and lots of couples had showed up (it had to be over 200 couples) we went over to the food table cause she wanted something to eat.  You can tell she was getting a little shy and nervous, she was, however, talkative enough to comment on other girls dresses, she would point out which ones she liked.  We ate, and then the DJ started playing upbeat music.  Bella actually grabbed my hand and said 'dance with me daddy', I was getting tears.  We danced, and man did we ever dance, she was jumping, and moving all over the place, and laughing, and smiling so huge.  Some of the Dads were just sending their daughters onto the dance floor while they talked with other dads, but luckily I wasn't the only dad with the realization that I was here for HER.  The dance floor quickly filled up.  Then she wore herself out and wanted more chicken fingers.  We did this back and forth for about 5 more times, then she said she wanted to go home.  It was only 30 min into the dance, I couldn't give up that easy, so I drug her out some more.  It was funny, she would be ALL about leaving, but as soon as I got her moving to the music, she would pick it right back up and start wiggling all over the place.  At one point there was a train of little girls walking all over the dance floor, she looked at me and I said 'go ahead' and she ran over to them and marched around. 

After a while I could tell that she was actually tired and we started dancing slow songs while I was holding her and her head on my shoulder.  We actually danced a lot with her standing on my feet, that was fun.  Once we started out we realized that she lost her Corsage, so we got another one, and she also got a T-Shirt that said 2012 Father Daughter Dance.  It had pretty flowers and such on it.  Then we got in the car and went home.  

Bella, I had the most awesome time with you that night, and I know it is a long shot, but I hope you remember it, because it was one of my favorite events in life.  Not just the dance, but everything leading up to it, seeing you get excited, telling people about it, asking about it, and getting dressed.  I hope we have many many more like it.  I love you.

A Fathers Blessing

I am writing this blog for one primary reason; for my kids.  So that they can look back and connect with their childhood, and see our relationship from my eyes.  And because of this, I want to record everything I do with them. This post documents is a new chapter in what I am doing.  James and Bella, I love you!

A good friend of mine taught me a wonderful tool a while back that I am now implementing into my daily routine with my kids.  Its called The Fathers Blessing.
The fathers blessing is a Hebrew tradition in which the on friday nights the father in the household go to each of his children individually, and prays a blessing over them.
There is so much power in this, there is power in spoken words.  God SPOKE everything into existence, we spread the good news through SPEAKING, and there are so many more examples throughout Scripture that support verbal as powerful through God.  I can either build up my kids, or crush them to the dust by my words.  This fathers blessing was used as a way of affirming and blessing the children in the household, the spiritual leader was praying blessings and praise over his children.   Their self esteem as to who they are in Christ is going to pivot greatly on the relationship they have with their earthly father.  If they have a bad experience with me, never received affirmation, or was ridiculed or was seldom told that I was proud of them, etc, then the word father would mean very little to them.  So when they begin to grasp the reality of God being our heavenly father, this wouldn't be a very appealing concept.  They can't connect easily the joy and awesome identity that comes with knowing the creator of the universe highly favors me and loves me!  Another GIANT aspect of this is that they see me daily PRAYING out loud, talking to God, as MY father.  So they might see and become accustomed to the act and necessity of prayer.
Now no matter my past growing up, I can't allow that to dictate what God has called me to be.  So James and Bella, when you start to understand God as our father, you need to be excited about this!  You need to know from me, that a father loves you, holds you in the highest regard, is proud of you, and nothing you can ever do will make me love you any more or less!
So for a little while now, I have been doing this with my kids at night.  The traditional way to do this is over the dinner table.  But I do it at night, and I do it every night instead of just Friday.  I go to them individually, tuck them in, hold my hand on their head (an important part of the Jewish tradition is the physical touch while blessing) and pray for them out loud.
Here is an example of a Fathers blessing prayer, obviously I don't say this exactly, but I cover the main points. 

“Father, I receive, welcome, and acknowledge each of my children as a delightful blessing from You. I speak Your blessings upon them and over them.
“Children, I bless you in the name of Jesus, proclaiming the blessings of God, my Redeemer, upon you. May He give you wisdom, a reverential fear of God, and a heart of love.
“May He create in you the desire to attend to His words, a willing and obedient heart that you may consent and submit to His sayings and walk in His ways. May your eyes look straight ahead with purpose for the future. May your tongue be as the pen of a ready writer, writing mercy and kindness upon the tablets of your heart. May you speak the truth in love. May your hands do the works of the Father; may your feet walk the paths that He has foreordained for you.
“I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my children are living their lives in truth.
“May the Lord prepare you and your future mate to love and honor one another, and may He grant to your union upright sons and daughters who will live in accordance with His Word. May your source of livelihood be honorable and secure, so that you will earn a living with your own hands. May you always worship God in spirit and in truth.
“I pray above all things that you may always prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers. I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
“In the name of Jesus, my Lord and my God, Amen.”

Bro Time!

Last week was James' birthday and with the party planning and such, we figured it would be better for him to move it to Jan 14th.  Which is going to work out fine, because next week (Feb 4th) I have a Daddy Daughter Dance to take Bella to.


So on to Bro Time!  This weekend was a hard one to do, because we were moving into a new house this weekend, so I was sore and tired from moving, but it was a nice break to take James out.

I realized something yesterday.  When Bella was born, Kathryn said 'Mark, leave her alone, give her a fighting chance to be normal and not weird'.  But now that I'm spending one-on-one time with them both, that is going to be hard to do.  Besides the fact that both (Bella especially) are developing their own weird quite well on their own.

Lowes is a really cool business, they have weekly projects that you can take your kids to at 10am on Saturdays.  You go in the back and they have a room setup with tons of families with kids building little projects.  These projects are cool, simple things like bird houses, picture frames etc.  This week just happened to be a wooden T-Rex!  Perfect....

Just like Bella, I took James to the store to buy a treat, Swedish Fish are the entree of the day.

Then I thought we could do some good ol' tree climbing.  Even though I weigh 240 lbs, James was impressed by the fact that I could get higher than him....We actually trash talked each other, if the other was too tired to run, or climb (usually me..lol) the other (usually James..lol) would cry out 'WEAK! YOU ARE WEAK!' 

We then had to do some moving while it was still daylight, but after that, we did one of the coolest things I could imagine.  We played with Batman Legos while watching the Batman Cartoon!  Loved it.

Then....we took a short nap while watching more Batman......

After all of that, we added one more thing, he helped get the fire going in our new fireplace.

Bella, Jan 14th, 2012

Being the first Daddy Date with Bella I knew it should be the easiest, because she would be excited to spend time doing anything.  As time goes on though, I assume it will get harder as I run out of ideas.

We started by going to Walmart, just so we could get some cool treats for the morning.  She got Zebra cakes, it was so funny watching her change her mind as quickly as we could pick things up.   She wanted to 'skip' the whole way from our car to the entrance, so manliness be darned, we both skipped all the way into and thru some of Walmart.

My dad gave the kids some kites for Christmas, and so I brought her scooter and the kites with us to Mill Creek Park, and since it was a windy day....AND COLD....it was fun.  The kite is one of those Air Foils, so it pulls pretty hard.  She almost let it go a few times.  We didn't get very far with the scooter, because like I said IT WAS FREEZING!  One hilarious things she did was when she saw me taking her picture on the scooter, she insisted on posing with it kneeling beside it.  The is so Bella.

 
Bella had a birthday party to go to last Saturday and it was at the Clubhouse in Statesboro, a bowling alley with games and lots of stuff.  Each kid was given a game card to play arcades and she had $3.25 left on the card.  So that is where we went first, and I let her play a few arcades and then we played Ski Ball so long (letting her win) that the game actually timed out and declared a winner before either of us went to 7!

Then we went to the college campus.  This was the most fun to me.  We went over to where the lake is near the library.  When we got there we noticed the ducks were definitely expecting us to have something to feed them.  So Bella broke off pieces of twigs and threw them to them, I told her it wasn't fair and she apologized to the ducks.  I downloaded an app on my phone that has duck and geese calls, decided to try it.  We had white ducks in front of us first, the duck calls were of Mallards, and as soon as I played it, they came swimming over.  Then lost interest quickly and paddled away.  I tried the goose one, and that was cool, there was one goose, and he was walking over to us, honking at us, and if I stopped the call, he would slowly walk away, and if I started it up, he would come back, staring at us looking VERY confused and trying to call out to this hidden goose.  Bella and I had fun just sitting and talking, and she has my random brain, so she grabbed some acorns, and told me, 'you have to hold them over your heart and say the predge of leegees'  or "pledge of allegiance'.  So we held these acorns over our hearts and recited it three times.  That was fun.  Then we played follow the leader over the brickways on campus and skipped back to the truck.

A very good first Daddy Date.

NEWBIE!!!

I am new to the blogosphere, and my wife is helping me with it, but I am writing this blog mostly for my kids.


God has granted me so much grace is my life, not the least of which is my amazing family.  I have made a resolution that is one of the most important ones I'll ever make.  Each Saturday morning from here until my kids move out, I am devoting every Saturday morning to one of them.  They will alternate, each Saturday will be a different child.  My daughter, (Bella, 4) loves the term 'Daddy Date', but my son (James, 7) likes 'Bro Time'.  So each Saturday I am going to post minute by minute accounts of each time spent, with pictures, so that years from now this will be an awesome way for my kids to look back in the past and remember the fun we had, and to remind them of just how special they are to me.


God is amazing, and I can't waste a single minute.